Pick A Mom

by: Alana Hart For the first time in my life, I have the opportunity to have both my first and adoptive mothers around my table for Thanksgiving. “Great!” you are probably thinking to yourself. What an opportunity to unite and feel thankful! However, as an adoptee nothing is straight forward or easy. Instead, the guilt …

How Will You Change Your Mind About Adoption

by: Liz DeBetta I teach writing at a university in Utah, which is a very white, conservative, pro-adoption state. Just this week my students gave presentations in class called “Book Talks” based on a memoir/non-fiction book of their choice. I had given them a list of options at the beginning of the semester and each …

Our Lives Are Not Your Entertainment

by: Cherish Asha Bolton Popular TV show This Is Us wowed audiences again with its coverage of transracial adoption. I don't watch the show, and a lot of adoptees can't bring themselves to watch it either. And yet it's immensely popular with adoptive parents. The supposedly "mic drop" scene is as follows: Jack: When I …

The BITE Model, Part Two: Information Control

In part one (read part one first), we examined the “B” of the BITE model: Behavior Control.  In this second part we move on to the I: Information Control.  As a refresher, let’s establish what the BITE Model is, and also present our caveats. The BITE Model was developed by Steven Hassan of the Freedom …

The BITE Model Applied to the Adoption Industry and Mainstream Adoption Narrative

Part One: Introduction and Behavior Control By: Becca Dragon This is going to be a four part series, examining the BITE model by Steven Hassan as it relates to our mainstream adoption narrative and industry in the United States.  What is the BITE model?  According to the Freedom of Mind Resource Center, “Many people think …

NOT ALL

by: Dione I rarely speak up in response to people dismissing adoptee voices. I can’t stand the condescending comments use in a effort to silence me and keep the needed changes to take place. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately though. This is what I’ve thought. ***“Not all” children grow up to be …

Adoptee Imaginings

by: Becca Dragon Let's be clear, we are talking about THIS adoptee, lest you feel that urge to remind me I don't speak for ALL adoptees. Yes, got it. But, upon talking to my dear adoptee friend, Cherish, we thought this might spark interesting conversation to see if we have more commonalities among other adopted …

I Am Not “Supposed” to Be Here

Even with some personal spiritual/religious beliefs, I feel fairly certain that I am not supposed to be here. The Creation of Me was a moral failing according most religious and societal tenets. Born to teenaged parents (married, but teens nonetheless), I was a mistake that needed a more "stable" older couple to redeem. One man's …

Life Lessons For Adoptees From The Clueless People

by: Becca Dragon with Stephanie (a fellow adoptee) and a crew of other adoptees who are in our closed adoptee-only group. As someone who runs a public platform dedicated to showcasing and elevating the adoptee voice in authenticity, I hear a ton of very exhausting and repetitive objections from the non-adopted.  Anyone who has floated …

Adoption Micro-Disruptions

Adoption Micro-Disruptions by Becca Dragon We hear it all the time “REAL families are the ones the ones that:             FOR CHILDREN:             -stay up with you all night when you are crying             -provide you with all of your opportunities             -kiss your booboos             THEN ALSO AS WE BECOME ADULTS:             -are in …